Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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