Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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