I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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