Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
