why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
