At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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