dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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