my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
