I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Drake has all the answers
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize