im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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