He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
