Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
