you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
