I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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