12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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