How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
porn star boner night. come get it.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
