Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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