I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
