The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
