My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
