Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
