tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Houston, we have a blender
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
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I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
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Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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