She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just high enough for therapy.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
