dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
