it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
