i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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