Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
