Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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