im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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