is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
