did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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