i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
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Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
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After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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