No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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