so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
