I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
