So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
