i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
