Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
