What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
