Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
