Who did Billy Mays play for?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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