So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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