Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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