This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
