ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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