Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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