you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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