are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
