Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
