8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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