i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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