can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I could fuck to npr.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
