I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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