I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Randomize