The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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