i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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