There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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