would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
