she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
