I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
