Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
