They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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