Someone shit on the floor
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
