i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
